My Very Own Green-eyed Monster

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It is not something I’m proud of, at all, in fact I find it a down right annoying habit of mine that has ruined many things in my life. I get jealous: in relationships, about the way other people look, others successes or achievements, pretty much anything and everything. I’ve always done it, when I was at school I definitely distanced myself from a lot of the girls because I was jealous they were prettier than me. I seriously messed up two relationships because I was always worrying that they would cheat on me with someone prettier ( turns out one of them was, but hey there is always arseholes in life).

Recently I’ve really learnt to deal with my jealousy. Its very true that jealousy is just a lack of self confidence, something again I’ve always struggled with, since going to university last September I really feel that my confidence has grown in leaps and bounds. Slowly but surely that is effecting my green-eyed monster. Honestly, is it making me less jealous? No probably not but I can handle it better now and channel it in to good things. For example now seeing a girl with a figure like mine but better makes me want to eat better and work out more rather than stab her eyes out. I find it easier to compliment others when I like something they’re wearing. My boyfriend telling me he’s been out all night partying, makes me want to be there enjoying myself too rather than be there to make sure he’s not eyeing up other people.

I’m a firm believer that everything in life should be enjoyed, but mostly in moderation. I don’t think anyone truly lives their life without jealousy or envy at some point. A little envy is healthy and can motivate you to better yourself as a person. If every woman out there looked at other women and felt motivated to better them selves rather than diminish other I think we’d all be a whole lot happier, no?

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